Thursday, June 24, 2010

Letters to the Pop Culture "Icons" of our day.

And by "icons", I mean largely untalented fame whores.

Miley Cyrus: thanks for perpetuating the stereotype that young female singers who have some potential MUST "grow up" to have a trashy image.

Adult doesn't = ripped leather pants, pole dancing and sex hair for everyday wear. There goes your chance at having a professional, adult image. Your parents should be ashamed of you, and I hope they are.

Justin Bieber: You got it lucky, and you probably know that. I hope you realize that viral popularity doesn't mean you're a respectable person... 99% of North America finds you to be severely annoying and not that talented.

Please delete your Twitter account. And pray that puberty delays itself as long as possible... Because once your voice changes, you're screwed.

Lindsay Lohan: You're an idiot, plain and simple. People can't, don't and never will take you seriously thanks to the addict-party-girl image you've created for yourself.

At one point in time, you were rather talented and had a lot of things going for you... But you completely screwed it all up. Your liver and heart thank you, I'm sure.

By the way, you look like you're about 60.
Why is that the most annoying, depraved people are the ones who are the most famous? How can people pay attention to the ones who have serious issues without drop-kicking them in the direction of either rehab or intensive therapy??

I hate celebrities.

2 comments:

HolyJunkie said...

I can only wait until JB's balls drop. That'll either make his career or break it. Either way, we win by no longer having that squeaky voice.

I personally never hated the guy- but that's mainly because I do NOT plan on hearing anything remotely by him.

Miley Cyrus: hated her in Bolt- which was one of the worst cash-in Pixar-esque movies I've ever seen. A waste of cash and for some reason, it was made into a Disney icon?

Otherwise, no comment.

Lohan: ... Wait, I thought she was a part-time porn star.

Anyway, I'm guessing that the depraved people are famous because deep-down, we enjoy watching them suffer. We enjoy watching them bitch about how bad they've got it. I certainly enjoy drawing mustaches, arrows, scars, giant monsters, bullets, saw blades, and robots in general on their faces in the Metro.

Hilarious!

blowfish said...

I hate Miley Cyrus! She's only seventeen years old and I know that if I, at seventeen, filmed a music video where I grinded up against people and lied on the floor in nothing but a corset with my boobs pushed up to my neck, my parents would probably beat me!

The thing is though, a couple of years ago she had some serious potential to do something with her career, but I'm kinda worried. Plus it grosses me out that her dad runs her career...and she did a skanky music video like that...soo...eww?

And I loved Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls, it's one of my favorite movies. She had so much talent and potential. It's sad how it's all been wasted. Earlier this year she got dropped from a movie because they didn't think that she was bankable.

Maybe Miley will go the way of Christina Aguilera, and what I mean by that is do the skanky thing for a little bit and then grow up and do a more mature and adult (like, still sexy, but not herpes infested) image. That's really the only hope I have for her.