>_<"

I'm frustrated.

Shadow is still a panicky little ball of cactus needles. Who snuffles and freaks out every time you try to put your hand near him, or move too quickly.

Rory's losing patience with him and seems to regret buying him, maybe wanting to get rid of him.

Life isn't simple, never has been and never will be.

But is it really so much for me to want life to work out without tripping over everything in my path, just this ONCE?

I'm kind of enjoying the new store, but it's such a big change. My manager is very specific about how he wants things done. Which I kind of understand-- he's been with the company for a VERY long time (more than 30 years, i think)... he knows what works the best for him and has a system that he really doesn't like having interrupted. And I'm the type of person who can find it difficult to adapt to new ways of doing things, even if I learn quickly (which I do)... I'm just stubborn, really.

Another thing I've realized is that I miss doing sales. I miss dealing with people. It's just... a difficult adjustment, and I feel completely useless in so many ways. I hate it. I'm used to independence and being able to do whatever I want in the store I was at up until last week. And now I'm in a completely unfamiliar place and don't know where ANYTHING is kept in the store. Every time I ask my manager where it is, he says "looks around and find out!" AUGH. JUST TELL ME WHERE IT IS AND I'LL REMEMBER IT.

Semi positive note: Went home to my parents' place for dinner tonight. My mom made homemade macaroni and cheese with penne noodles. So good. Reaffirmed that I can't cook worth anything, though.

I've come to the conclusion that I miss my little sister something terrible. Even though we used to fight almost constantly... I miss being able to go into her room and curl up on her bed and sob for a while. I miss having her around.

There are days where I wonder if I'm bipolar. That or if I just have varying degrees of depression... that would probably make more sense, actually.

Just... ARGH.