I have a friend who I've known since high school. We didn't use to be all that close, but I kinda consider him to be one of my closest friends now. Throughout high school, he dated another one of my friends. They'd been introduced by mutual friends and had dated for three years. The problem with this couple was that they had this tendency to treat each other terribly.
When I say "terribly", I mean that they fought all the time, and in a lot of ways emotionally abused each other. She dumped him several times to chase after other guys, and came crawling back when things didn't pan out the way she wanted. He, on the other hand, is the product of an awful childhood and a very unhappy home. His father is in the Canadian military and was sent on several tours of duty during high school.
We graduate, and a few months later he gets so sick of his home life that he moves out and across the city. Now, he struggles to get by for a while (and has issues holding onto a job), but he gets his life together and learns how to thrive on his own. And eventually find a job that he loves! She, on the other hand, is still living with her parents. Works three days a week in a grocery store, and complains that it's too much, complains that they want her to pay rent.
Things between them get more and more tense (as it's clear to all of his friends that he's outgrown her in a lot of ways), and they break up. This was last fall.
He's upset about it, and understandably so! But he picks up the pieces and moves on. Gets interested in a couple other girls, pursues them... His now-ex, on the other hand, has a couple flings with guys who are ecstasy addicts. And then has her heart broken once or twice. Overall, she makes a lot of bad decisions because she's hurt.
Not to say that he doesn't make any poor choices, because he does. He makes the mistake of trying to stay friends with his very bitter ex-girlfriend. He tells her about the girls he's interested in, and she gets EXTREMELY jealous. Jealous to the point that, for some bizarre reason, she decides to completely destroy his life.
At the beginning of January, he was on some sort of hallucinogen. He's one of those people who tends to enjoy experimenting with different drugs occasionally. As far as I know, he's never done anything really "hard" per-se, but this is an important part of who he is.
Anyways, he's made the mistake of telling his ex about a girl he had a fling with. She flies into a jealous rage and threatens to tell his mother about ALL of his drug usage, in essence completely destroying his life. My first beef about this is how insanely hypocritical this was of her... She had done many of the same things as him, WITH him. Second problem is that this is just a HUGE betrayal of trust and a major stab in the back.
I got a message from him on Mobile MSN while this was all happening. He's tripping out on a hallucinogen and trying to deal with his entire life being ripped out from under him... And kind of freaking out. Which makes total sense. So, Rory and I went across the city to go to his house and try to help calm him down. It worked, up until she followed through with her threats.
At that point, I lost any shard of respect I ever had for this girl. Throughout the time that these two were dating, my best friend and I (who I had ended up dating for about a year and a half at the end of high school) were the ones that these two went to with their relationship problems. It suffices to say that we heard MORE than enough to come to the conclusion that this is one couple who should NOT be together.
In deliberately seeking to destroy my friend's life, his ex girlfriend lost all of her friends from our "group" in high school. None of us will ever trust her again (and the next time I see her, I will have to exercise EXTREME control in order to keep myself from kicking her in the face with a stiletto. THAT is how much I loathe this girl).
Two months go by, and he's decided that he has forgiven her and wants to date her again!! I am told this in a conversation on MSN and sit at my computer, completely stunned, for about five minutes trying to figure out how on earth this could have happened. It would seem like the repeated betrayals and the backstabbing weren't enough... He still loves her and wants her back, despite the fact that she has repeatedly proven herself to be the following:
- immature
- flighty
- untrustworthy
- a LIAR
- abusive
- ... And so many other things.
The most exasperating part of this is that they're now planning on moving in together! I don't understand it. How could he go through SO much at the hands of this girl and STILL think that they'll be able to DATE again, never mind LIVE together? They're looking into moving into a place about five blocks away from her parents' place, and walking distance away from HIS parents' place. They'll never have any privacy again!
Why do people make such stupid decisions? I don't see this ending well.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
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